Thursday, October 24, 2013

Being Morbid


First, checkout the Sunday Serial The Cursed Gift over at Joyous Art.  The weather has turned  colder and the days are shorter...the perfect time to snuggle up on the couch and get lost in magic and mystery!  

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A friend of a friend of a friend is trying to re-home 9 cats for a lady who passed away.  This is not a hoarding case.  Individually, these cats came into this lady's life because they were in great need and she took them in out of the kindness of her heart.  She could afford their upkeep; they were all well-fed, vaccinated and groomed.  Unfortunately, as much as she cared for them in life, she had no plan for their upkeep should something happen to her. Now neighbours and friends are scrambling to re-home the cats so they don't end up at the shelter.

This is not a unique situation.  I regularly see dogs that were obviously cared for and loved by their owners, end up in shelters after something happens to their caregiver.  I see the same situation for horses who end up on feed lots.

I have always had a plan for my four-legged companions should something happen to me.   When friends and I talk about our companions, most stare at me like I have antennae sprouting out the top of my head when I mention that I have a plan for my dogs, and now Gem, should I become incapacitated or die.  I am amazed that not one fellow boarder that I have spoken to on this topic has a plan in place for their horse should something happen to them.  Horses live a long time (my friend's horse passed away at 36 years of age).  Gem has another 20 years of living yet to come and his long-term needs need to be considered.  My friends and fellow boarders think I am morbid.  They don't want to think about the future or their death; they want to enjoy their horse NOW.   I find it intriguing that no seems to think like I do.  :-)    


The reality is that your Will outlines your "wishes" and it's important that you have someone you know well and trust to make sure your wishes are carried out.   My Husband will obviously manage the care of the dogs and Gem should something happen to me.  I have an amount set aside for Gem's board and care so that he can retire (hopefully at LA's) without worry.   My Will states that he is not to be sold under any circumstances.  Depending on his age, having him ridden by a staff member a few times a month to keep him tuned is OK, but only my niece is allowed to ride him socially.  If he cannot stay at LA's, he will be moved to a reputable retirement farm 1.5 hours away.  I have a very close friend who act as my executor should My Husband pre-decease me and she will take over the responsibility of the care of my dogs and Gem. She also happens to live 10 minutes from the barn.  So, if she is managing my estate or helping me if I am unable to get to the barn, she has committed to grooming Gem on a regular basis and checking on his well-being.  My niece will be helping her in this area.  


I am guessing that the topic of this post has probably got you squirming a bit.   But you know, it gives me comfort to know that my companions will be looked after.  Does thinking about my death make me morbid?  I guess in some eyes it does, but I look at it as being prepared.   I would be interested to know if there are any other "morbid" people out there.  Hello?  Hello?   :-)

17 comments:

  1. I don't think it's weird or even really morbid, but then my whole family could be considered rather morbid as we're not afraid at all of talking about death etc., lol. I need to do this--as I'm "only" in college so far I haven't had a will--I have made sure my family knows what happens to River if I'm seriously hurt or killed, but never hurts to have it on paper! :)

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    1. I think having it on paper makes it easier on those that have to help make sure your wishes are fulfilled. :-)

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  2. A lot of people don't even have wills or directions on how their medical care is to be handled . . .

    In my state, if you want animals to be (legally required) to be cared for after your death, you have to have a funded trust for the animals - this varies from state to state. Of course it's always possible to have a (trusted) friend undertake this care, but of course funds must be available for this. It's just good planning and takes the burden off your family and relatives to figure out what to do.

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    1. I know. I was in my 30's when I decided to do my first Will. I was affect by seeing my friend's families torn apart when their parents passed with no Will.

      I don't have a trust fund set up, but my lawyer will be assisting my executor in the banking arrangements.

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  3. I don't think you're being morbid at all. Accidents and unforeseeable circumstances happen all the time. Things in life can change in an instant and I think it's better to be prepared and have a plan. My dogs and horses will be well taken care of and never sold. I feel you can't go through life thinking there's a rainbow over you all the time and nothing bad can ever happen because sometimes it does. No one is invincible. Good for you for knowing your animals will be taken care of if something were to happen, it should give you peace of mind.

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    1. I agree, GHM. Crap happens. I have to say though, that I am regularly surprised at how many people I know do an ostrich impression and bury their head in the sand when it comes to thinking of their death.

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  4. Not morbid all all. It is very practical. I think about it all the time, but putting it into action . . . that's another story. I think the biggest thing preventing me from doing that is that I really don't know how or what to do.

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    1. I started by making a list of everything that is valuable to me, which of course included my four-legged family members. :-) Then I thought long and hard who would be able to take care of them and approached those people to get a commitment. Then I went to my lawyer and had the will drawn up. After that was done, I gave the list of people who would help with my animals to my executor so she knew. It's not as daunting as you might think. :-)

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  5. First of all, thank you so so much for the shout-out :D Almost choked on my tea when I read that *lol*

    You're not being morbid at all, my dear, just amazingly practical. Both hubby and I have our wills sorted out but it never occurred to me to mention our pets in our wills. Obviously the boys will look after them if anything should happen to Neil or me, and beyond that, its an oral agreement with one of my best friends.

    My mum ended up taking this practicality to the 'nth' degree when she started giving stuff away while still alive!! Had to point out to her that at the rate she was going, she would end up living in an empty house!

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    1. You are most welcome!!

      Your mum is a practical woman. :-) My mother started doing this a number of years ago. She wanted to see us enjoy the stuff she gave us. I sort of like that idea. :-)

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  6. This is a completely practical thing to talk about. I've already told my husband that if I die he's to put Gwen down, my boy can be sold and live a decent life with someone else but she's a different story- I worry about what would happen if she were sold...

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    1. I totally understand your position on Gwen. A neighbour of LA's had her horse put down. The teenaged horse (a draft mix) was more of a pet and never really broke to ride or pull. When the lady became seriously ill, she couldn't find anyone to take the horse, so rather than have her go to auction and very likely end up on a feed lot, she made the decision. An extremely hard one to make, but I get it.

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  7. Very practical.

    Mine is in the works - a life insurance policy payable to a friend with explicit (written) instructions for Val's retirement. Thanks for the nudge to put the plan into action! :D

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    1. Yes, I have one life insurance policy that is strictly for the care of my animals. It's an easy way to make sure there is something for them when I die.

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  8. I have to admit that I have given this much thought over the years, and have talked about plans with the people I hope to have implement them, but I have nothing in writing. I think the idea of the life insurance policy to fund the care of my horses and other animals is a fantastic and doable idea! I am embarrassed to say that the idea never occurred to me, despite recently myself becoming a licensed insurance agent! I think the main thing that has been stopping me from putting anything in writing has been the fairly significant concern that I had no idea how I would fund my animals' care after my death - now I have a plan, thanks Calm, Forward, Straight!!

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    1. Life insurance is a really easy way to do it. Worst case scenario if I should become incapacitated and can't work or ride is my jewelry. I have some great pieces worth quite a bit that I would sell or auction in a heartbeat if it meant paying for the keep of my animals. :-)

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