Shades of Scared

Bucking Beauty:
The weird weather over the last month meant that most times we were riding in the arena.  I don't mind riding in the arena.  However, when the weather doesn't cooperate, it can get busy.  The last two times in the arena, a young lady and her friend joined in.  The young lady has a new horse....a 4-year old ex-race horse that she wants to train for games and barrel racing.  This mare is not used to being ridden.  She carries her head very high and doesn't actually walk, she prances.  She only knows to go straight and fast...really fast.  She bucks when she's asked to trot or lope in a controlled manner.  She is spooky and will take off.  Not a great scenario when it's crowded, but the young lady wants to expose her new mare to everything so that she's ready for the show scene.  I get that, but I really hate hearing "look out!!" from behind me as she is trying to get her horse under control.   Perhaps part of the problem is that it's sensory overload for the mare and she's frightened???   It was so bad one afternoon, that all of us exited the arena because the mare was totally out of control.  It was thought that lunging might get her "head" back.  I didn't stick around.....I had had enough of her horse taking off and bucking.  Sigh.

 
Full Speed Ahead!:
Flooding has affected the trails around the barn, but the nicer weather and crowded arena encouraged people to get out.  Obviously, the grass and trails are slippery because of the wet, muddy conditions.  The other day, DH's Mom, TS and SS were out on the trails.  TS and DH's Mom started to walk into the forest, when suddenly they heard the thumping of hooves and SS yelling "WHOA!!!!  WHOA!!!".  For some reason, SS's horse spooked and bolted at a full gallop across the muddy field.   It took a while, but eventually SS was able to convince his horse to stop galloping.  It was very, very scary for both rider and the observers.  The other horses went into high alert, wondering why SS's horse took off in the first place.  Every little thing set them off.  The ride was a short one.  My first thought was why didn't SS execute an emergency half-halt?  Perhaps the slippery conditions would have caused his horse to fall???  He has been using a bit-less bridle lately, and I wondered if he had been using a bit would it have made a difference in slowing his horse down quicker??? 

Too Big!!!
I had a friend from downtown Toronto visit over the Easter weekend.  He had never been near a horse and was excited and afraid at the same time about meeting Gem.  He was totally freaked out when he saw how big Gem is and he tried very hard to mask his nervousness because he knew that Gem might feed off of it.  Initially, he wouldn't touch Gem.  Eventually, he started helping me groom and tack up.  :-)   There were a couple of other riders in the arena when we arrived.  My friend put on a helmet and made himself comfortable on a stool.  Initially, he was nervous as horses passed in front of him, but after a while he relaxed; he was my cheering section when I loped around the arena.  :-)  At the end of my ride, I asked if he wanted to sit on Gem.  He hesitated and I could tell by his colour that he was very nervous, but he said "yes"!  Up he got.  Gem was a gem as usual and I led my friend around a few small circles.  He was mortified at how high up he was and how powerful Gem felt, but when he dismounted and was on the ground, he was so excited that he had faced his fear.  I was impressed!  He could now tell all of his Toronto friends that he "rode" a horse.  :-)

Breathe!!!!:
LA took Gem for a spin the other day and texted me this:  " Gem's mouth is lovely and soft.  Good work!"  I was very pleased.  :-)  She also mentioned that she had him in the water and that I should take him out to the pond because he enjoyed getting wet.  OK.  So the next time I went out, DH's Mom and I went to the pond.....and I froze.  I could not believe how flooded the area was and how large the pond was!  Deep breaths.  Deep breaths.  DH's Mom went right in.  Gem and I walked in about 10 feet.....and he splashed and splashed, soaking DH's Mom.  :-)   I was uncomfortable, and when I felt it was too much, I asked him to walk back to the shore....and he did.  In fact, we went in and out 3 times!  This was huge for me in the "trusting your horse" department.   So the next time we went out on the trails with DH's Mom and TS, we went into the pond and continued walking right across!!!  The water was up to his belly.  I think I held my breath the whole way.  lol!  I was elated when we reached the other side.  We stood for a moment on shore and then walked back through the pond without hesitation!  He absolutely loved it.  :-)

Satisfaction:
DH's Mom purchased a truck a couple of weeks ago and is in the process of purchasing a trailer.  Initially, she was going to purchase a two-horse trailer but she explained to me over after-ride burgers and beer that if she had a three-horse trailer, her, TS and SS could trailer to other equestrian trails in the region and spend the day.  

Me:   "I would be interested in that!!!" 

DH's Mom (very dismissively):   "You don't like water. We are looking for variety and we really want to ride these trails.  There's all sorts of terrain. You couldn't do it."
Me:  "Oh, I see."
DH's Mom:  "You only ride a few hours a week and we ride almost every day."

I was, well....crushed.  After her comments, I immediately felt inadequate.   Since that time, I have listened to DH's Mom, TS and SS talk amongst themselves about how they will have to drive a couple of hours to this trail and how they would have to stay over night at that trail and how much this one costs compared to this one....and on and on. 

Enter Lady's ex-caregiver.  We actually got together this past weekend for lunch.  A conversation we were having about horse trailers (she used to trailer her Percheron to dressage competitions), transitioned into a discussion about her new Clydesdale, a beauty that she got for trail riding on her property.....yes, she owns 100 acres with trails....oh, and her property has access to a couple of service roads that are connected to neighbour fields who have given her permission to ride through....a trail riders paradise it sounds like to me.  And, she has invited me and Gem to come to her place and ride with her!  She has offered to pick Gem up in her trailer and if I wanted I could leave Gem over night so we could trail ride over a weekend (she's only 30 minutes away from my house, so I would go home and then come back in the morning).  Nice, eh?  

The next time I rode with DH's Mom, I told her about my lunch with Lady's ex-caregiver.  I have to say that I felt great satisfaction in telling her about my invitation to ride with Lady's ex-caregiver on her property.  I also felt great satisfaction when I realized that DH's Mom was envious.  This adventure, which she and the others crave, was handed to me.  
 

DH's Mom and the others may think my capabilities are lacking, but my horse rocks and makes up for my shortcomings.  He's not the one that spooks regularly (SS) or takes off (SS) or rears and sits down when a bird flies out of the brushes (TS) or buck-a-lopes when she's pissed or in heat, which seems to be all the time (DH's Mom).  My Gem is sane.  Hmm, now that I think about it, do I really want to go off site with these guys???

Knowing that I have a friend who would like to ride with me on her trails (how awesome is that!!!??) has rejuvenated my confidence.   So, my goal over the next few weeks is to ride on my own and go in the pond, play in the mud and when the ground dries out, lope in the field to get used to the feel of the ground under foot.   All of these really push me outside of my comfort zone, but when the stars align and I do get to ride at Lady's ex-caregiver's place, I will be prepared! 

In an Instant.....

This past weekend, My Husband and I attended a wedding in Montreal.  It was a lovely affair, with about 250 people in attendance.  We were booked into a chic hotel about 5 minutes away from the event.  There was a cocktail party prior to the 6:00 p.m. ceremony and a dinner/dance after.  Very civilized!  :-)  The food was fabulous, our table companions were fun and the band was awesome.  It was great.

I bruise fairly easily.  On top of that, I have a high pain threshold.  Not a good combo, actually, because when I knock myself about I REALLY knock myself which results in big bruises and lumps.  Sigh.  So, after a couple of bad bruises on my forearm and the top of my hand (WTH??) a couple of weeks ago, I decided to be careful when I was around the barn and out on the trails.  I didn't want to look like I had just gone 9 rounds when I was at the wedding.   :-) 

The day before the wedding, DH's Mom and I decided to take advantage of the 21C temperatures and bathe our horses for what would probably be the last time before Spring. The wash station is located outside in the "yard" that separates the house and the two barns.  She bathed her horse first, while I kept her company and then she helped me bathe Gem.  

Squeaky clean!!

While Gem was in the cross-ties being soaped up, a horse trailer was backed up right behind him and parked.  Then the father of one of the boarders drove his truck through the yard.  Gem didn't bat an eye as these vehicles came within a few feet of his butt.  Good boy.  A few of the younger riders were sitting around a phone squealing while watching something.  Two other horses were lined up, waiting their turn to be bathed.  The yard was a busy place!   After his bath, I walked Gem across the yard next to the house and let him graze in the sun, just to dry him off a bit before he went back to his stall.  He was a horse on a mission to eat every blade of green grass, head down facing the house.  I, on the other hand, was standing next to his head facing the opposite way with the sun on my back, relaxed enough that my eyes were glazed over.  :-)

The next thing I knew I was flat out on the ground with people gathering around asking if I was OK!  To be honest, I was dazed and a little unfocused.  As I struggled to sit up, my immediate concern was Gem but I realized that he was now standing next to me on the other side. My second thought was how many friggin bruises I was going to have!  Darn!!   After a minute, DH's Mom and someone else helped me stand.  I did a quick check.  My jaw was sore, I had a cut from a tooth on the inside of my right cheek, my cheekbone and brow bone hurt, I had the beginning of a bump on the middle of my forehead, my neck had a kink and my sciatica was coming into play.  WTH??!!!  Was I unknowingly in the path of a truck or trailer and got hit?? 

DH's Mom saw what happened as she was walking towards me to chat.  The father of the boarder unloaded a lawn mower from his truck and decided to start it up to see if it still worked....right next to Gem's head.  1300 lbs. of horse spooked and jumped to the side, hitting me jaw to jaw and knocking me down.  What idiot starts a machine next to a grazing horse???  Apparently, this arrogant bastage does.  He didn't even apologize.

People volunteered to drive me home, but by this time I was a bit embarrassed and really sore and just wanted to get the heck out of there.  I drove myself home and after taking Advil, I stretched out on the couch with an ice pack for my face and a heat pack for my back.  I was not missing this wedding!!!  :-)   I had some time to think about the incident and I sort of laughed to myself about being so careful to avoid bruises and then to have this happen.   

Then anger set in.  How could a man who is around the barn all the time think that starting a lawn mower next to a horse is OK??  To let go of my anger, I tried to focus on the positives.  Yes, there are positives.....it could have been a whole lot worse: 

• Gem is not a lunatic kind of horse; his spook was just a couple of big side steps and not the snorting-and-running-around-the-yard kind of spook that could have potentially caused injuries to the other horses and people in the yard.

• I was standing sideways beside Gem, shoulder to shoulder; if I had been turned facing his shoulder, his head connecting with my face would have broken my nose, no question. 

• I was standing close enough to Gem that when he swung into me he did not have his full body momentum behind the step, so the hit wasn't as forceful as it could have been.

• Gem did not trample or kick me.

• Other than the bump and bruise on my forehead, I didn't have a visible mark on me.  :-)

I have been in worse pain from falls off of Gem while riding.  But this incident shook me because it happened while I was on the ground.  Other than getting stepped on or shoved or even bitten, I hadn't really considered being injured by a horse while on the ground.  When you are around horses, things can change in an instant and you must be prepared to react or be proactive in avoiding dangerous situations.  True, you can't predict idiocy.  And, the reality of it was I couldn't see this guy unload the mower or him starting it because Gem's body blocked my view.  But, perhaps if I hadn't been so relaxed that I was "glazed' over, if I had been more in tune with what was going on around me, I would have heard him and investigated??


The drive to Montreal the next day was a bit of a challenge, but Advil helped.   The bruise on my forehead was covered by make up.  The fun (and vodka!) I had at the wedding made me forget about my aches and pains.  My back survived dancing and my 3 inch heels.   :-)   My new outfit made me feel like a million. We enjoyed ourselves immensely.  Sort of hard to believe that just a day earlier I was sitting on my couch with ice and heat worried about a black eye and a bad back!   

Enjoy the rest of the week, everyone, and be safe!   Remember....there are idiots out there!!!  :-)

There's Good News and Bad.....

Bad News:  There were some abnormalities with some blood work I had done for my 13-year old Cairn Terrier.  Her liver enzymes were elevated.  In addition, a small growth was found near her hip and the biopsy indicated that it was cancerous.  It was decided to do an x-ray to see if there was anything else going on with her liver - unfortunately the results were inconclusive.  An ultrasound was done, showing that there were some tumours on her liver.  My vet booked an appointment for us with an oncologist.  Initially, we talked about using ultrasound to guide a needle to her liver to collect material for a biopsy.  I explained to him that I wanted a definitive answer on whether or not she had liver cancer.  We decided that while she was knocked out to have the little growth removed from her hip, that he do some exploratory surgery so that we know what we were up against.
Good News:     The doctor removed the tumours on her liver; they were benign!  Yipee!!!   The small growth has been removed and sent to pathology, but he is quite hopeful that all the bad stuff has been removed.  Yay!

Gem's version of free lunging.....

Bad News:   Gem's recovery from his abscess was slow.  I took him out of his stall last week and he was still limping!  I free lunged him or walked him as recommended whenever I saw him.  I was starting to worry.  My vet was on holidays, so I decided to wait for his return and have some x-rays done. 
Good News:  LA mentioned on the weekend that he looked fine during turnout (running and bucking), so I saddled him up on Sunday and rode him at a walk for 20 minutes.  He was actually happy(?) to be doing something, I think.  He had a spring in his step and was enjoying being out.  With LA's permission, I took him on a lovely trail ride yesterday - the first real ride on him in 6 weeks!   He was amazing.  We walked through some really muddy patches, without issue.  I know!!  Mud!  It felt so good to be riding him.

Bad News:  The flies around the barn are horrific.  Gem's stall is located at the end of the barn, next to the back door.  Under normal circumstances, it's a great spot; sun, fresh air, nice view.  However, flies multiply in the manure pile around the corner.  I have a fly trap at his stall, but it has not had much of an impact this year.  When I took him out of his stall over the weekend, his left eye was a bit swollen, red and gunky; conjunctivitis brought on by the flies irritating his eyes.  I picked up some eye ointment and he has been wearing his fly mask. I hope there is some improvement soon.
Good News:  The fly spray I have been using has been doing a really good job.  Neemella not only smells nice, but it seems to keep the flies away for longer than the traditional sprays.  And, even with the billions of flies around, Gem does not seem to be suffering with bot eggs like previous years (knocking on wood as I type that).

Bad News:  Jean and Stu will be leaving the barn soon.  Jean's husband has been transferred so she will be leaving at the end of the month.  Back in June, Jean had another fall off of Stu.  A few of us met on a Sunday to go out on a trail ride.  Her lessons had been going fairly well, and Jean felt she was ready to try Stu out in the open.  Jean, RO and I were walking our horses around the paddock, waiting for DH's Mom to join us.  Jean was at the far end and all of a sudden, RO and I heard "whoa!  Whoa! WHOA!"  We turned our horses around to see Jean basically lying flat on Stu's back pulling on the reins with all of her might as he cantered out of control.  We had (stupidly) left the gate leading to the yard open, thinking that DH's Mom wasn't far behind us and Stu took advantage of the opening and raced through.  Fortunately, Jean fell with a thump before Stu ran into the barn - she would have hit the top of the barn door and sustained major injuries if she had stayed on him.  DH's Mom was still in the barn and was able to calm Stu before he hurt himself or another horse.  She made Jean get back on him (unlike the last time she fell) and she held the bridle and walked Jean around for a bit before she got off.  Jean is not exactly sure what it was that set Stu off; it might have been her boot scraping the side of the fence.  Unfortunately, Jean has been sort of reluctant to ride Stu ever since.  She will be going to a very small boarding facility that does not have an instructor or arena.  My fingers and toes are crossed that she will push herself to improve Stu's (and her) confidence and abilities in spite of the limitations at her new place.

Good News:  The weather has been decent and I am looking forward to riding my boy this week!   

Hope you are enjoying your summer!

 

A Bunch of Stuff

Please send your positive energy over to my blogger friend Living the Dream.  He had a bad fall off of his lovely Canadian horse and is currently recovering from broken ribs and a bruised kidney.  Ouch!!  Another example of how important it is to wear a helmet (yes, he was wearing one)!

* * * *

An old timer passed away on Tuesday.  Chance, a lovely Paint, was one of the original school horses purchased by LA's family.  He performed his duties with pleasure and was the favourite of many, including a friend of mine who remembers riding him 25 years ago!   He was retired from his job a few years ago and enjoyed hanging out with the herd, where his pleasant personality put him in the lower half of the herd hierarchy.  If you were out on the trails, he would mosey over and say hi, maybe even walk with you a bit and then turn back.  He survived yet another winter; he was a bit underweight, but his summer coat had come in nicely.  This past weekend, boarders and staff noticed a change in him.  Instead of staying with the herd, he hung around the turnout area, close to the barn.  He kept the staff company when they were bringing horses in or putting them out.  He was a little more social.  He came up to some and allowed them to stroke and pet him, something that he usually didn't do.  On Tuesday morning, LA called in the old timers for their morning mush.  While the others chowed down, Chance came up to LA and put his head into her chest.  LA stroked him for a while and then he ate a little of his breakfast.  LA decided to keep an eye on him throughout the day, but by late morning, Chance was once again standing at the gate looking towards the barn.  LA walked over to him and as she started to check him, he collapsed.  Within a couple of minutes, he was gone; quick, painless and on his own terms.  LA was devastated, but comforted that he went as he did, with her at his side.  LA estimates he was at least 36 years old; she's not sure how old he was when he came to them.  I believe he had made up his mind that it was time and he was saying good-bye to everyone over the last few days.  RIP Chance.  You will be missed.

* * * * 

We have some new boarders/horses that arrived last weekend.  One is a quarter horse, the other is a Clyde-cross, Marty.  Marty is actually a little bigger than Stu and right now is trying to figure out his place in the herd.  The new guys were put out with the other horses on Saturday.  Sunday, I was out on the trails with DH's Mom and a couple of other boarders.  There was a neigh from across the field, and then this huge horse appeared and came trotting towards us - head up, ears up, chest puffed out - making a bee-line right to Gem and I!  My heart started to race. Gem's head and ears were up, too, looking at Marty.  Imagine 1500 lbs coming at you.  I had visions of these two horses deciding to duke it out with me in the middle.  I turned Gem around and went back to my group, and as Marty was trying to come up to Gem from behind I just kept Gem moving, around and around.  There was some yelling, and Marty was eventually moved off by my body guards riding buddies and we continued our ride.  After I calmed down,  DH's Mom commented that I actually held it together pretty well, I didn't scream like a girl, and Gem behaved himself.   :-)

* * * *

A few of us purchased Cashel Leg Guards for our horses.  These are mesh socks that allow for air circulation, but prevent bot flies from landing and laying eggs on your horse's legs.  They are quite sturdy and the quality is good; worth the $40.00 I would say.  You remove them when you ride.  I put them on Gem for the first time on Tuesday, after lesson.  DH's Mom inspected to make sure they weren't too loose or too tight.  Yesterday I emailed a fellow boarder asking if she would mind checking Gem's guards when she was at the barn.  She emailed be back saying that he had removed both.  There are four sturdy velcro closures on each sock, for cripes sakes!!  When I replied, "No way!", her response was what do you expect from a horse that can open his own stall door.  She has a point.  She kindly put them back on for me.  I got a text this morning from one of the ladies who works at the barn saying that he took them off again last night (he has night turnout) and she retrieved them from the small field and put them on his blanket rack.   Sigh.

* * * *

Last June.

My Niece came for a visit the long Victoria Day weekend.  Our usual routine on Sundays is to go to the barn; we groom, I ride for a bit and then she gets on Gem and rides for a bit.  While we were tacking up, I was chatting with a boarder who had just come in from the trails.  As she started untacking her horse, she asked if My Niece would like to ride her horse instead of sharing Gem.  Yes!  So, we actually got to ride together, which was amazing.  For someone who has only had 8-10 lessons over a winter, two years ago, I was amazed at how well she managed on this horse.  Walk, jog, lope - no problem!   She was beautiful.   It was a joy to watch her and I admit, I was a bit envious of her youth and how effortless she made it look. 

* * * *

My lesson on Tuesday was really good.  I actually was able to lope half the front paddock (did I mention how big that paddock is???) a number of times, consistently, without Gem breaking down to a trot and without me collapsing from exhaustion.  My butt was in the saddle most of the time, but I know my hands are still not quiet.  If I ride one-handed, my seat is better, perhaps because my free arm keeps me balanced???  However, I have problems steering when it comes to circles.  If I use two reins, my steering is better.  So for now, I am going to concentrate on keeping my butt in the saddle, using two reins.  Once I have the butt thing down pat, I will then start focusing on steering one-handed.  LA complimented me on the lesson saying that I had now raised the bar, so she was going to push me into the next level of training; I was ready.  Yikes!  :-)  


The weather is going to be awful the next few days.  Cold, rainy and blustery.  I am still planning on getting some riding in, though!  Have a great weekend everybody and ride safely!

Blind to the Obvious

There is a man were I board that came to LA's place a few months before me.  Wade is about my age, was new to riding and a first time horse owner.  He basically inherited his horse, an Arabian, from his daughter who wanted to sell the horse so she could buy a car.  He bought the horse, she got her car.  Wade signed up for lessons with LA.

This horse looks very similar to Dar.

Dar is handsome, hot and fast....and unpredictable.  He requires an experienced rider.  That's not what Wade is.  In fact, after a few crazy incidents, LA told Wade that it would be better if he took some lessons on a school horse, so that he could concentrate on technique instead of trying to keep his horse under control during lesson.  That worked for a while.  Wade learned some stuff and "practiced" on Dar.  He eventually decided that he didn't need lessons and started riding by himself.  Dar's unpredictable behaviour never stopped Wade from riding; he never seemed concerned or worried.  Ignorance is bliss???

Even as a newbie rider, when Wade joined me in the front paddock when I first partnered up with Gem, I could see that he was in trouble.  Wade had no balance.  When he posted trot, he would fall forward on to Dar's neck.  When he loped, he bounced up and down hard in the saddle (we would all cringe watching him), his feet shoved all the way into the stirrups, toes pointed down.  Now, we have all been there.  In fact, I still have a hard time keeping my hands positioned and my butt in the saddle when I lope.  But, my balance has improved a great deal over the last couple of years.  Wade's not so much.  He still rides the exact same way.  LA has tried to give him pointers, to no avail.  Dar actually has regular chiro appointments for his back.  I would have thought that this might have been an indication that Wade's riding technique needed to change, but his take on the situation was to get a new saddle to correct the problem - it hasn't.

Going on trail rides with Wade/Dar is a challenge.  Wade doesn't see that his horse is a potential danger to himself and to others.  We are nervous to ride with him because he does not have control of Dar.  And, he has done nothing to correct the situation.  Dar has bucked, he has kicked at other horses and he has taken off on Wade.  Wade has cut trail rides short because he felt that Dar was becoming "bored" (aka uncontrollable) and that was why he's misbehaving.  Really, Wade?  He doesn't ride with us often - usually he rides in the morning - but when he does, my anxiety level increases.

Many times, Wade has readily admitted that he had to dismount Dar while riding out in the fields because Dar became unmanageable.  In Wade's mind, this is Dar's personality; he is how he is.  Dar threw Wade last Fall when they were out on the trails alone, breaking Wade's collar bone.  Fortunately, there was a boarder bringing her horse in from the fields and she came upon Wade and helped him back to the barn.  Wade now has a couple of screws holding his collar bone together.

This past winter, Wade decided that Dar was going to be an endurance horse.  Wade felt that as an Arabian, Dar would excel in this.  When no other riders would go out in the fields because of the conditions, Wade rode Dar in the snow to build muscle, with total disregard for Dar's safety (ice layers underneath the snow).  He bought boots for Dar and now rides him up and down the dirt road in front of LA's property.  This dirt road is actually a road connecting two main roads.  There are many homes on this dirt road.   Traffic isn't heavy, but it is regular.  Another boarder was driving to the barn the other day and saw Wade and Dar on the road.  She said watching the two of them terrified her; Wade did not look like he had complete control and she was waiting for Dar to take off as she slowly passed them.

Oh, I forgot to mention.  Wade DOESN'T WEAR A HELMET.

I bumped into Wade the other day and he was excitedly telling me of his first endurance race in June; a small regional competition.   As he was describing the event, all I could think of was how was Dar going to react to loping with a bunch of other competitors when he couldn't even go on a relaxed trail ride here without acting up.  I asked Wade if he had a safety vest.....no, but he thought he might have to as part of the mandatory riding equipment.  Whew.

In Wade's mind, Dar's bad behaviour is nothing more than him being bored because he's a performance horse.  How can bucking and taking off be accepted as the norm?  How can you let your horse buck you off and not take that as a wake up call?   How can you think it is acceptable to ride your horse on the road, risking the safety of rider/horse and those in vehicles, when you have admitted that he can be uncontrollable?  How can you think it is completely acceptable to ride this unmanageable horse, WITHOUT A HELMET?  Where is the common sense?  How can Wade not see that his relationship with Dar is an accident waiting to happen?  Is it stupidity?  Is it a case of ignorance is bliss?  Is it because Wade has no reference, i.e. he rarely rides with anyone so he doesn't see how it should be?

I have seen Wade's daughter ride Dar, when Wade was off due to his collar bone injury.  She's an experienced rider; Dar looked pretty good.   In my mind, Wade needs to step up and do what is right for Dar.  It can't be easy on Dar, having a rider that can't communicate properly and can't sit in the saddle.  I have to wonder if Dar's bad behaviour (because he knows he can get away with it) is exaggerated by this kind of frustration and lack of leadership.  Wade needs to have some lessons to learn how to be a safe rider and better leader, Dar needs to go to boot camp to reestablish manners and reacquaint him with how it should be and then the two of them need to train together.   IMHO.....  :-)  Sadly, I have no idea how this can come about when the rider is oblivious.

Hope you are having a good week!

 

Face to Face

Friday I met DH's Mom and we rode in the huge front paddock.  It was busy.  Lots of riders taking advantage of the nice weather.  It was a good ride.  I am trying to practice loping and Gem and I went around the paddock a couple of times.  My arse was up in the air on occasion and there were times where my hands/arms were flapping around.  I am hoping that practice will give me a more consistent seat. :-)  As I was untacking, LA asked me when we were going out on the trails.  She made some jokey comments about getting me wet in the swamp and how Gem was going to swim the pond.  I could feel anxiety starting in the pit of my stomach.  When we confirmed Sunday morning, she invited DH's Mom and another boarder to come along.  Now my anxiety really started to build.  It's one thing to work one-on-one with LA, but to have two others on the ride puts pressure on me to "perform".   I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic and sort of like the kid whose parent throws them in the water to teach them to swim.

Sunday arrived and I did my best to relax at the barn.  I didn't want Gem picking up on my nervousness.  My muscles were tense.  Vodka soda wasn't really an option at 10:00 in the morning, so I opted for 2 extra strength Advils instead.  :-)  DH's Mom knows of my mud anxiety and was kind and supportive as the four of us started out.  LA was leading with myself second and DH's Mom and the boarder bringing up the rear.  The chatter actually relaxed me quite a bit and as we walked through the muddy entrances to the different fields and the wet spots in the forest without incident, I was feeling better about the ride.  

We exited the forest on the swamp side.  OK, my heart rate started to increase.  I took a couple of deep breaths. The ground was still quite wet and spongy.  I gave Gem a bit more rein and let him lower his head to see where he was going.  Then we came to a very wet, squishy black mud patch.  He stepped into it and then "popped", as DH's Mom described it.  It was sort of a hop over the mud.  Now my heart was really racing.  But you know what?  He didn't go racing off like a lunatic as I had envisioned when I think of mud encounters.   And, my butt stayed in the saddle!  

While I was still trying to get my wits about me after Gem's pop, I watched LA, who was a little ahead of me, make a sharp left off the soggy path and start across the creek.  Wait a friggin second!!!  No one said anything about a creek!  I watched her cross, the water coming up to her horse's belly.  I froze.  DH's Mom went next.  Gem stood and watched his turnout buddy trot through, splashing water everywhere.   Now, where we were crossing the creek wasn't very wide; maybe 10 -12 feet.  But the banks were sort of steep.   LA was loudly encouraging me to come across.  I just stood there and it was on the tip of my tongue to tell her to go fly a kite.  Then she said something that was like a slap in the face.  She told me I needed to trust my horse.  I took a couple of deep breaths and then asked Gem to walk on.  He lowered his head, gauged the slope of the bank perfectly and we walked through the water and up the other side without issue.  Everyone clapped and yahoo'd.  LA reminded me that I could smile now, which and I did.  :-)  Gem got lots of "good boy" and scratches.  The boarder came across and we all stood and chatted for a minute.  

There is no trail on this side of the creek, so we had to go back the way we came.   I was to lead, so I turned Gem around and tried to get him to walk through.  He resisted and started to back up into the other horses.  My heart rate started to increase.  LA pointed out that my anxiety had me pull the reins up to my mid-section and when I applied pressure with my legs, I was asking him to back up.  Duh.  I took a deep breath, relaxed the reins and he walked forward and through the creek without issue.

LA's Australian Cattle Dog was with us on the ride.  He was in constant running mode the whole time we were out.  The energy this dog has is incredible.  As we left the creek and headed back into the forest, the dog bounded out from some shrubs and basically ran under Gem's head.  We were both caught off guard and we both spooked.  Gem did a couple of BIG side and front steps and I know I made some sort of noise.  But he calmed down immediately and I stayed in the saddle.

When we got to the loping field, I asked the others to wait while Gem and I walked by ourselves around the field.  Again, this is to help me with MY separation anxiety when out on the trails.  :-)  No problemo!  We continued on to the orchard side of the property and we all waded into the pond and stood for a few minutes, letting the horses drink.   The pond was a piece of cake after the creek.  :-)  

It didn't hit me until I started untacking.  I survived mud, a "pop", a creek, a spook, riding a small field solo and a pond.   I faced my fears and I stayed in the saddle.  :-)  Facing fears is always the hardest the first time.  I know it will get better each time I face them.  And, Gem was awesome the whole ride.  I heard LA talking to someone outside the barn.  I walked up to her, gave her a hug and thanked her.  She smiled and I returned to my awesome horse to finish untacking him....the perfect ending to my Sunday ride.

Have a good week everyone!



 

Respect

Most boarders would get excited about having a long weekend.  Visions of lots of horse time, riding to your hearts content in the arena whenever you feel like it, come to mind.  It's not the case where I board.  Every long weekend, there is a clinic that lasts all weekend.  A trainer comes in to town (LA's trainer, in fact) and does one-hour sessions with riders, usually those getting ready for reining competitions.  It sort of sucks for boarders because the sessions start at 8:00 a.m. and go until 5:00 p.m.   We are allowed to ride in the arena during lunch hour, from 12:00-1:00 p.m.  In the winter, this means the arena is packed with riders.  In the summer, it's not quite so bad; the front paddock is available for the clinics, leaving the arena free.  And, of course, the trails are available.

For someone who only gets one day on the weekend to ride (Sunday), initially I was put out by the inconvenience of having the parking area overrun with trailers and being relegated to one hour of riding.  But, I have come to understand that as long as LA has these very popular clinics, it helps keep the costs down for boarders; there has not been an increase in our board rates for two years, although I am expecting one sometime this year due to the drought-induced rise in the cost of hay. 

Along with the popularity of these clinics comes, unfortunately, a lack of respect for boarders.  It absolutely boggles my mind at how disrespectful "visitors" are and how entitled they feel because they are participating in a clinic.  Here's a few examples:

A rider is not on time for their morning session, so they start late.  They insist on their full hour, so that means that everyone behind them starts late.  This means that the boarders that only have an hour to ride usually end up getting the short end of the stick.  In the past, there were many times where myself and a few other boarders had to wait outside the arena in the cold for the session to finish before we could get into the arena and then could only ride for about 30-40 minutes so that the next session could start at 1:00 p.m.

While boarders are riding during the lunch break, clinic participants feel that it is completely acceptable to lunge their horses, warming up the the afternoon sessions.  We have sometimes had TWO horses being lunged at the same time!  This is not only dangerous, but it reduces the amount of arena space where boarders can ride.

Participants will bring in their "other" horse (yes, they will trailer two horses) into the arena to ride during break because they don't get to ride or practice much in the winter because they don't have an arena.  Boarders have to accommodate their sliding stops, reining patterns, etc.

Participants will leave all of their grooming stuff, saddle stands and extra hay all over the aisle of the barn, making it next to impossible sometimes to maneuver around, particularly if you are guiding your horse out of the barn.  

Participants will tack up and then leave their horse tied to a wall-post or in cross-ties.  Then they will go watch the clinic until it's their turn, leaving the horse in the aisle for boarders to have to deal with and frankly, babysit.

There have been times when I have found a participant's horse left in Gem's stall because the owner has gone to watch the clinic.  I really, really dislike this. 

As the popularity of the clinics increased, LA had to deal with a number of complaints from boarders. She has reinforce old rules and introduced some new ones. 

• Clinic participants are not to leave their horses unattended. 
• No one is allowed to lunge while there are riders in the arena (this is an ongoing rule).  
• Clinic participants are not allowed to ride during lunch break - the arena is reserved for boarders only. 
• Trailers are to be parked off to one side.  
• Barn aisles are to be kept clear.  
• Clinic participants are not to touch boarded horses after handling their own without washing their hands and must bring their own water buckets.
• Stalls are not to be used by clinic participants.
• Sessions start on time; if the participant is late they will loose that time.
• Visitors have to clean up their horse's poop.

So, Sunday a fellow boarder and I gained access to the arena shortly after noon.  Gem and I started our usual warm up.  As Gem and I were walking away from her, I heard my 15-year old fellow boarder say "sure, no problem" to someone.  Imagine my surprise when a clinic participant started lunging her horse, taking up 1/2 of the arena.  As Gem and I got closer to them, her horse started to freak out a bit; a perfect example of why lunging isn't permitted with riders.

Me:  (smiling) Hi there.  Lunging isn't actually allowed when there are riders in the arena.  
She:  (snotty tone, trying to get her horse under control) I am participating in the clinic.
Me:  Yes, I know.  But the lunch break is the only time boarders like myself get to ride when there is a clinic on.  Lunging your horse reduces our rideable space. It's also a safety issue.
She:  (really snotty tone and red faced) I asked her (pointing to my fellow boarder) and she said it was fine.  I am not asking for your permission.
Me: (getting bigger in my seat, looking down at her and her puny horse and in a very precise tone)  These are LA's rules and they are posted in RED on the board next to the gate.  You may want to read them and if you have an issue, please take them up with LA.

Things could have gone a lot nicer if she had just responded politely to my initial comment; after all she is a GUEST.  But no.  Bitchiness prevailed.  She stormed off, put her horse back in the cross-ties and went to complain to the other regular clinic participants, who were sitting around having lunch. (Have I mentioned that I really hate barn drama?? Sigh.)  I noticed a couple of them go to the whiteboard and take a quick look.  I have to admit that I had my fingers crossed that LA's rules were still posted (they were)!!  :-)  

I had a nice leisurely ride on Gem, using the whole arena.  Now, some of you out there may think that I was over-reacting to this woman lunging, particularly since there were only two riders in a fair-sized arena.  Well, most of the clinic attendees are regulars and should know better.  Clinic participants are told what the rules are, yet still choose to ignore them. Frankly, I am tired of the rude behaviour.  Sunday's little kerfuffle with this woman will hopefully remind these visitors of the rules and that it's not all about them.  

I told LA what happened before she went to the arena for the afternoon session.  I didn't want her blind-sided by an angry participant.  LA was supportive of my actions and indicated that she would work harder at making sure that the rules for visitors were enforced.  I felt better.  LA has a tough role to play.  It's a fine balance trying to keep all of her "customers" happy.  Boarders are her first priority, though, and I appreciate her efforts and support.   :-) 

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Twelve!

 Hope my blogger friends on the east coast have not been impacted too much by Sandy and that everyone is safe!

                                             * * * * *

I can't believe how time has flown.  My beautiful boy turned 12 on October 17th.   We have been partners for over 3 years now.  This past weekend, I hosted his annual birthday trail ride.  Seven brave souls rode in some rather nasty weather (Sandy was just starting to make her presence known to us).  It was cold and raining, with high winds at times, but the weather did not dampen our spirits.  I did wear my Confidence Vest over my 3 layers of clothing, topped by my waterproof windbreaker.  I looked like the Michelin Man.  :-)    I love my windbreaker....it has two pull tabs.  Once you zip it up you can unzip it from the bottom, allowing the bottom of the jacket to spread out around you so that when you are sitting the jacket doesn't end up all bunched up around your midriff.  

Adjusting my reins.  Doesn't the birthday boy look great?!

 The horses have lost their shiny sleek summer coats.  Gem's velvety winter coat is coming in nicely.  At this point though, it doesn't seem as fuzzy as last year and I wonder, based on our drought conditions this past summer, if that is a sign that our winter is going to be mild.

We mostly just poked along, gabbing.  There was the occasional trot through some of the wider paths in the old orchard.  Now that I am not micro-managing Gem (as much!) out on the trails and learning to let him do his job, he is more relaxed and is enjoying the trails more.   I have had time to really observe Gem and have found out some cool stuff about my boy.

• I have found out that he actually like to be up front, leading if he can.  This does not surprise me.  When he has been tried out with the herd, he becomes quite dominate.  He likes to be the leader.....and perhaps have a job?  He's OK if someone is in front of him, although I do have to keep him in check from pushing them and walking right up their butt.  The only horse that he is really comfortable with having in front of him is DH, who is the boss of him when they are turned out together.

Gem and I leading the others to the next field.

• He is quite content walking, which he does with purpose.  I swear he could walk forever, which is characteristic of his breed.  He never seems to tire.  Sometimes we end up ahead of everyone else because his strides are so much bigger.  :-)   

• He really likes to look around.  With having a tight grip on the reins all the time in the past, I guess he really didn't have a chance to see what was going.  Now he takes an interest in his surroundings and I like seeing his ears perk up.   He does not spook when a chipmunk or squirrel run in front of him.   Wild turkeys?  Doesn't bat an eye.   I think he likes the forest.  I find it fascinating how acute his hearing and sight are.  He heard a horse from the herd in the forest minutes before we actually came upon him.  I am not sure why, but he particularly likes watching the golfers play through or drive around on their carts on the course next to LA's property.   

In the forest, golf course on the left and DH in front of us.

• He's getting way better in mud!  In fact, I am the one that has to learn to calm down.  :-)  DH's Mom has reminded me to hum when she sees me start to tense up.

At one point during the trail ride, my friends decided to lope across a field.  I knew this was eventually going to happen (hence the Confidence Vest) and my anxiety shot up through the roof.  Every time I have fallen off, it's been out on the trails at a lope.  I held back.  One of the young ladies asked if I needed her to stay with me  (God bless her!)...yes, please!  
Gem started to get a bit antsy obviously, seeing everyone take off in front of him.  I did my best to calm him and get my heart rate down.  :-)  In retrospect, what I should have done was walk him in small circles to get his brain back instead of trying to make him wait.  The young lady's horse got just a bit too familiar with Gem and he bucked.  It was a straight up and down buck.  Luckily, I had my free hand positioned palm down on the horn instead of gripping it.  LA told me about this little trick.  With your palm on top of the horn, you simply push down on the horn to help keep your balance in the saddle.  If you position your hand around the horn and grip it, your arm will follow the movement of the saddle and you can actually be pulled out of it.  Her trick worked; my butt wasn't far from the seat during the buck and my feet did not leave the stirrups.  :-)

After our trail ride, we retired to the lounge in the arena.  A couple of other riders, who had opted not go out on the trails because of the rain, joined us along with LA and her mother.  We all chowed down on awesome chili, bread, chips, cookies and cake, with beer and soft drinks to wash it all down.  Gem got special homemade sweet feed treats.  :-)   I had everyone who actually went out on the trails put their names against a number (1 to 10) on the whiteboard.  I had a bag of horse treats in my car that I had written a number on prior to coming to the barn and whoever matched that number got the bag.  It just so happened that it was DH's Mom who won!   It was a great afternoon.  

I needed a hot bath when I got home to warm me up.  After that, I threw a blanket in the dryer on high heat for 5 minutes and then wrapped myself in its warmth as I stretched out on the couch and settled in for an episode of Murdoch Mysteries.  What a great way to end the day.   :-)   Thanks for having a birthday, Gem! 

Separation Anxiety.....and Danger Lurks

So, some long time readers may remember Gem's escapades a couple of winters ago, when he managed to find a way to get out of his turnout area. Well, he's at it again. LA mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Gem found the only spot in the electric fencing tape that did not work and pushed through it and joined the herd at the far side of the property. DH stood at the opening but did not go through. His forlorn look as LA was walking past made her stop and check things out. Gem was not gone long; he was easily caught and both he and DH were brought in and stalled. The electrician was called and he replaced the faulty electric fencing tape.

Well, somehow he managed to escape again yesterday. I am not sure of the details but it had something to do with having to turn off part of the fence because of the water tub heater or some such thing. Never a problem in the past, but within that 10-15 minute period, Gem found the right spot and made his escape. LA didn't realize he was gone (the fence had been turned back on long ago) until she heard DH softly whinny at the turnout fence when she was walking up to the house. She checked it out, discovering that Gem had escaped again. Sigh. He was with the herd for at least a couple of hours before he was brought back in.

When I first became Gem's partner, he had been turned out 24/7, but was by himself. When he came to LA's facility, he had to learn to be in a stall and he had to learn to make friends with The Boys in the back turnout. It was different when he was being ridden, and I have never worried about him being aggressive to other horses during lesson. We tried him out with the herd initially, but he was too dominate and because of his size, LA was worried he could injure one of the other horses.

Now, two years later, LA is wondering if we should try him with the herd again. LA assured me she would observe him, making sure that the dominate, bullying attitude he exhibited when he first arrived doesn't reappear and cause any serious scuffles. If everything is OK, then he would be able to frolic with everyone else. My heart started to pound a bit, my anxiety level started to rise as she talked about the possibility. I think I have an idea of how a mother feels when their child is boarding the school bus for the first time. :-)

Me: (slightly whiny tone) When I came here, I told you that I would hate traipsing around the fields looking for my horse. I still feel that way. If he's turned out with the herd, I will be covered in snow going out to get him. I could fall!
LA: We can make sure that he's in the back turnout or his stall on the days you come here.
Me: I will be adding another day to my routine, but I don't know which day.
LA: You can call ahead and we will make sure he's in from the fields.
Me: He will turn into a lunatic, wanting to be with his new buddies, when we are out on the trail! Just when I am getting the hang of trail riding! I will be thrown or the other horses will charge me!
LA: I think you are being a bit dramatic.
Me: Sigh.




Gem is smart, and in LA's opinion, he's a bit bored and looking to get into mischief, hence finding the weak spots in the fence. He knows the barn routine, and he will probably be waiting for her to turn off that portion of the fence. It's like a game to him now. Because of this, she will have to change the routine to turn him out later, after she is done warming the water tub. I am guessing that Gem will not be happy with this arrangement.

I liked Gem being in the back turnout area because I could easily call to him and he would come. I liked that bite marks were few and far between. I liked that he had his own private apple orchard. I liked that I could stand and easily watch him interact with DH. I liked that he had his own water supply close at hand. I liked that he had his own hay and I knew how much he was eating.

I whined my way through these "likes" with LA and we agreed to have him turned out with the herd on Wednesdays and Thursdays. It will break up the week for him. I see him every Sunday, lesson on Tuesday, out with the herd Wednesday and Thursday, I see him Friday or Saturday. I am nervous about this, but I can see how he would benefit mentally and physically if he's able to wander and socialize with the others. Expand his horizons, so to speak.

When I arrived for lesson last night (rescheduled from Tuesday because of -20C weather), I carefully checked him out for bumps. I found four big bite marks; two on each butt cheek. No damage anywhere else. I asked one of the ladies who works at the barn if she was the one to bring him in from the field yesterday after his escape. She responded that she found him chowing down at the big bale of hay, the only one eating while the other horses stood around him, watching. Hmmm.....perhaps that bullying attitude has not left completely....

* * * * *

Last night I picked up Jean and we drove to lesson together. We drove on roads that were still a bit treacherous from the recent freezing rain. We managed to skate up and down the lane way at the barn a few times without falling. We led our horses down the dark, icy lane way to the arena without incident. Had a great lesson on frisky horses and then had to lead them back up the skating rink to the barn. No problemo! I removed my helmet and coat and I untacked Gem. As I was carrying my saddle blanket back to the tack room, the little saddle pad that I use under the blanket slipped and dropped in front of me, causing my feet to get tangled up and I went down....hard.... My shoulder took the brunt of the fall, then my elbow. I was fortunate that the saddle blanket softened the blow in some ways and my head did not connect with the cement. Jean and LA's mother had to help me up.

On the way home, Jean and I experienced a whiteout on the highway - my first. It was like driving into a wall of white. We both said "Holy Sh--! at the same time. I had no point of reference to indicate where I was on the four-lane road. We were both very nervous.....OK, we were scared! :-) I managed to crawl along and eventually saw the haze of a street light, indicating civilization, that we used as our beacon. Whew!

So, I managed icy roads and lane ways....walked my horse on skating rink conditions...and survived a terrifying white out. But it was a stupid saddle pad that got me! I can barely lift my arm today, my shoulder hurts that much. Fortunately, it's my left shoulder/arm so I was able to put my makeup on with no problem. ;-) Be careful out there.....you never know what's going to get you!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Help! I Need Somebody....

"Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help."
~John Lennon~

I have to admit I am more of Stones fan. :-) But, this lyric fits the bill of my experience after lesson on Tuesday.

I rode on Thursday and Friday of last week. On Friday's ride, Jean and I actually ventured out into the pastures for a very short trail ride.... by ourselves....!!! Yay!!

Lesson was so so on Tuesday evening. It was hot and humid. Horse and rider alike were sweating and huffing and puffing. After a long weekend of 30C temps and really big hair humidity, by the time lesson rolled around I had no energy. We didn't do anything too strenuous - walk, jog, a little loping in a figure 8 pattern. I am finding loping in small circles a challenge. It's difficult for me to maintain my balance while steering and pushing Gem on. This is one of the things I will be focused on over the next couple of months. The other is side-pass and, believe it or not, an active walk. Two Horses has been working on this with her horse Cassie. Gem will speed up his walk if I encourage him but as soon as I release pressure, he slows right down. We will keep working on it!

Anyway, after lesson I untacked my sweaty boy, gave him a brush and took him outside to graze a bit. After 10 minutes, I walked him back into the barn. As I opened his stall door and started to walk through into his stall (I make him wait until he's invited in), he started scratching his chin on the top of the door. He was really enjoying himself so I stopped mid-way through the door and let him scratch to his hearts content. His lead chain was banging up against the door, making quite a bit of noise.

Gem finished up his scratching session as CA walked into the barn with her lesson horse. He tried to pull his head up and couldn't. He tried again, and couldn't. He started to pull back while moving along the side of the stall, pulling the stall door tight and successfully pinning me. WTH?? Basically we were standing beside each other, our heads next to each other, with the wall of the stall separating us. I managed to look over the top of the door and could see that his scratching love-in had looped the lead chain around the latch and that some of the links in the chain were threaded through the sliding handle.

He was starting to back-pedal and I could hear his hooves smacking the concrete floor. There was a look of concern around his eyes. He started to pull, not in a jerking motion, more like a dog playing tug of war. I could hear the wrought iron hinges on his stall door protesting. I have to admit that when I heard the hinges starting to give, the possibility of an even bigger dangerous situation flashed across my mind...like horse-tearing-out-of-the-barn-dragging-a-stall-door-behind-him kind of situation. I didn't want to upset him any more than he already was. So, instead of yelling, I said in a loud but calm voice, "CA, I NEED YOUR HELP NOW!" Moving at the speed of paint drying, she responded "I'll be a sec. I just have to put my horse in her stall." WTH?! The reaction I was looking for was her moving with a sense of urgency and QUICKLY putting her horse in the stall and QUICKLY coming to my assistance. No such luck. Meanwhile, Gem was still back-pedaling, the stall door was still protesting while my body continued to endure the door being pressed up against it. I realized that I was going to have to defuse this situation myself.

I spoke quietly to Gem. "Easy....easy..." I reached over and started to stroke his neck. "Easy....there's a good boy..." He stopped back-pedaling and in doing so released some of the pressure on the door. I managed to squeeze the rest of my body into the stall and look over the door at the tangled chain. I thought I might be able to just undo the clasp, but it was tangled up too. It was sort of like getting a knot out of a necklace, but I managed to do it. No easy feat when you are looking at it from over a door. :-) I chatted with Gem while I worked and he stood like a gentleman. After I got the chain untangled, I asked him to back up, allowing me to open the stall door, exit the stall and walk up to him to give him a rub and tell him what a good boy he was.

How easily and quickly something so "normal" can become something dangerous! Holy crap! In reality, this whole situation with Gem probably only took 2 minutes max, start to finish. It seemed much longer. :-) I am thankful that Gem is not the panicking kind, and frankly neither am I. In a strange sort of way, I think this exercise was beneficial to both of us. It added to my confidence level. I can take care of Gem and he got to see that I helped him. I hope that translates into the level of trust that he has for me being elevated just a smidge. :-)

It was after I led him into his stall that CA walked up to us and asked what I needed (what took her so long??!!). I explained what had happened and that when I called for her I needed her help immediately. I showed her the hoof scrape marks on the concrete where Gem had been back-pedaling. She responded that she heard it but just thought he was giving me the business and didn't realize that it was an urgent situation. Sigh.

I don't believe I was over-reacting but obviously I failed in communicating that I needed help. So, my question to my blogger friends is this: Is there a particular way that "horse people" communicate an urgent situation to others, whether it's when you are in the barn or riding?? In other words, should I have asked for Help! differently (yelling?)??

What was I thinking.....?