Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Blind to the Obvious

There is a man were I board that came to LA's place a few months before me.  Wade is about my age, was new to riding and a first time horse owner.  He basically inherited his horse, an Arabian, from his daughter who wanted to sell the horse so she could buy a car.  He bought the horse, she got her car.  Wade signed up for lessons with LA.

This horse looks very similar to Dar.
Dar is handsome, hot and fast....and unpredictable.  He requires an experienced rider.  That's not what Wade is.  In fact, after a few crazy incidents, LA told Wade that it would be better if he took some lessons on a school horse, so that he could concentrate on technique instead of trying to keep his horse under control during lesson.  That worked for a while.  Wade learned some stuff and "practiced" on Dar.  He eventually decided that he didn't need lessons and started riding by himself.  Dar's unpredictable behaviour never stopped Wade from riding; he never seemed concerned or worried.  Ignorance is bliss???

Even as a newbie rider, when Wade joined me in the front paddock when I first partnered up with Gem, I could see that he was in trouble.  Wade had no balance.  When he posted trot, he would fall forward on to Dar's neck.  When he loped, he bounced up and down hard in the saddle (we would all cringe watching him), his feet shoved all the way into the stirrups, toes pointed down.  Now, we have all been there.  In fact, I still have a hard time keeping my hands positioned and my butt in the saddle when I lope.  But, my balance has improved a great deal over the last couple of years.  Wade's not so much.  He still rides the exact same way.  LA has tried to give him pointers, to no avail.  Dar actually has regular chiro appointments for his back.  I would have thought that this might have been an indication that Wade's riding technique needed to change, but his take on the situation was to get a new saddle to correct the problem - it hasn't.

Going on trail rides with Wade/Dar is a challenge.  Wade doesn't see that his horse is a potential danger to himself and to others.  We are nervous to ride with him because he does not have control of Dar.  And, he has done nothing to correct the situation.  Dar has bucked, he has kicked at other horses and he has taken off on Wade.  Wade has cut trail rides short because he felt that Dar was becoming "bored" (aka uncontrollable) and that was why he's misbehaving.  Really, Wade?  He doesn't ride with us often - usually he rides in the morning - but when he does, my anxiety level increases.

Many times, Wade has readily admitted that he had to dismount Dar while riding out in the fields because Dar became unmanageable.  In Wade's mind, this is Dar's personality; he is how he is.  Dar threw Wade last Fall when they were out on the trails alone, breaking Wade's collar bone.  Fortunately, there was a boarder bringing her horse in from the fields and she came upon Wade and helped him back to the barn.  Wade now has a couple of screws holding his collar bone together.

This past winter, Wade decided that Dar was going to be an endurance horse.  Wade felt that as an Arabian, Dar would excel in this.  When no other riders would go out in the fields because of the conditions, Wade rode Dar in the snow to build muscle, with total disregard for Dar's safety (ice layers underneath the snow).  He bought boots for Dar and now rides him up and down the dirt road in front of LA's property.  This dirt road is actually a road connecting two main roads.  There are many homes on this dirt road.   Traffic isn't heavy, but it is regular.  Another boarder was driving to the barn the other day and saw Wade and Dar on the road.  She said watching the two of them terrified her; Wade did not look like he had complete control and she was waiting for Dar to take off as she slowly passed them.

Oh, I forgot to mention.  Wade DOESN'T WEAR A HELMET.

I bumped into Wade the other day and he was excitedly telling me of his first endurance race in June; a small regional competition.   As he was describing the event, all I could think of was how was Dar going to react to loping with a bunch of other competitors when he couldn't even go on a relaxed trail ride here without acting up.  I asked Wade if he had a safety vest.....no, but he thought he might have to as part of the mandatory riding equipment.  Whew.

In Wade's mind, Dar's bad behaviour is nothing more than him being bored because he's a performance horse.  How can bucking and taking off be accepted as the norm?  How can you let your horse buck you off and not take that as a wake up call?   How can you think it is acceptable to ride your horse on the road, risking the safety of rider/horse and those in vehicles, when you have admitted that he can be uncontrollable?  How can you think it is completely acceptable to ride this unmanageable horse, WITHOUT A HELMET?  Where is the common sense?  How can Wade not see that his relationship with Dar is an accident waiting to happen?  Is it stupidity?  Is it a case of ignorance is bliss?  Is it because Wade has no reference, i.e. he rarely rides with anyone so he doesn't see how it should be?

I have seen Wade's daughter ride Dar, when Wade was off due to his collar bone injury.  She's an experienced rider; Dar looked pretty good.   In my mind, Wade needs to step up and do what is right for Dar.  It can't be easy on Dar, having a rider that can't communicate properly and can't sit in the saddle.  I have to wonder if Dar's bad behaviour (because he knows he can get away with it) is exaggerated by this kind of frustration and lack of leadership.  Wade needs to have some lessons to learn how to be a safe rider and better leader, Dar needs to go to boot camp to reestablish manners and reacquaint him with how it should be and then the two of them need to train together.   IMHO.....  :-)  Sadly, I have no idea how this can come about when the rider is oblivious.

Hope you are having a good week!

 

11 comments:

  1. This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I think it might be a good idea for Wade to still take lessons and Dar definitely needs some readjustments. I have a feeling it's not the horse's fault. He's most likely confused and possibly sore from the inexperienced riding.

    It's always hard to tell someone they need to get better and they don't always take advice well. Maybe someone could tactfully suggest that the horse needs a more experienced rider to help him reach his full potential. And getting more lessons for himself Wade could then finesse the horse into behaving better or something like that. He obviously makes excuses because he can't control the horse. Wonder if his daughter could be recruited to watch Dad ride and suggest he might want to wear a safety vest and helmet and learn how to ride more safely. I don't have the answers but someone is going to get hurt. I can't believe he thinks he's ready for endurance either.

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    1. We are all worried about their safety. When Wade broke his collar bone last year, no one was surprised. I agree; I don't think it's Dar's fault. LA has tactfully tried to convince Wade that both he and Dar need assistance to become a real team, but Wade is not interested. I am mortified that he's going into a competition.

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  2. You can buy a horse, you can't buy common sense. I hope he at least keeps a phone on him so he can call for help...

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    1. It's no different than the parent who buys their child a 3 year old horse thinking they will grow and learn together. I'm curious though, has the daughter ever seen her father ride Dar?

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    2. Shannon - It seems so apparent to everyone but Wade that this is a bad situation. You are right - you can't buy common sense. BTW, you are not allowed to go out on the trails without a cell phone. :-)

      14.1hands - We actually have that situation at the barn right now. Sigh. I am not sure if the daughter has actually seen her father ride Dar. I know she has been out when she's home from school to ride, and I know Wade has watched her ride. But I am not sure if she's seen him on Dar.

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  3. I'm about to make a giant blanket statement, so I apologize to the men that this does not fit. I know they are out there. However, I see more men who are over horsed and not interested in taking lessons. I've ridden with a guy like Wade before. At my last barn. His horse was a HOT MESS of an Arabian/Saddlebred and he wanted to event on him. He mistook his bravery (manliness?) as skill and was tearing around courses half cocked.

    I actually think that going to an actual endurance ride will be eye opening for Wade. Endurance riders are very particular about their horses and if Wade is causing Dar harm because of his bad decisions, there will be multiple opportunities for it to come up at the check points at the ride.

    It's hard when it's at your barn, especially if Wade wants to trail ride with you. Ugh. I hope he has an eye opening moment soon and that you don't have to share the trails until then!

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    1. There are only two men at LA's that take private lessons, one because he really really wants to learn to how to ride properly, the other because he's fine-tuning for competition. The rest of the guys think they know how to ride. :-) You could be right about the competition being an eye-opener for Wade. I just hope that neither of them get hurt.

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  4. Great post. Wow.

    I've been riding a long time. I can ride. I still take a lesson now and then. L and I aren't always at our best. I have to work at it. It helps to have an expert call attention to my shortcomings. I have very good basic skills but I often lack "refinement". These are the reasons people take lessons. Maybe someone should chat with him about why people take lessons.

    Not just to learn "how to do it" but to "get better at it".

    I really don't think he's going to get too far with endurance riding but hopefully he'll learn something before somebody gets seriously hurt. You'd think a broken collar bone would be a pretty good warning.

    Good luck.

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    1. I enjoy lessons and at this stage in my riding career, I can't see discontinuing lessons any time soon. :-) I know that I need lessons to improve not only my skills, but my confidence. Believe me, everyone at some time or another have broached the subject of "fine tuning" his current skills through lessons or clinics, but Wade just isn't receptive to the idea. Perhaps after his endurance competition, he will be.

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  5. Sheesh!! Shan't say exactly what I'm thinking as the language is me tad colourful but really, how selfish!! Poor Dar, how he must suffer each time Wade gets on him; I was wincing reading your post. Reading interviews and the like about the Olympic horse-people, it seems that riders, even professionals, never stop with the lessons. I hope Wade doesn't suffer any injuries, and especially not Dar but, not wishing ill on anyone, maybe that will help him 'see the light'.

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  6. I feel sorry for the horse, too. My husband has been golfing for 30 years and still takes a few lessons every year. I just don't get it with this guy; there is nothing wrong with taking lessons, but he just doesn't see the advantages.

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